Author: he brought me ice cream

Fetal Pretzel

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I am afraid of chest wrinkles.  (Cue an eye roll from my mother and a fervent desire for the ability to quit reading her progeny’s inane ramblings.  She can’t, as a side note.)  I tried to think of another word instead of afraid, but none hit the mark.  I am afraid of them because there is nothing you can do about it.  As far as I know, fillers don’t go there and there is not a chest lift available.  All you can do is wear high necklines and sweat during the summer.   The only thing worse for your chest than worshipping the sun sans sunscreen is side sleeping.  I sleep on my side in what is best described as a fetal pretzel position and this is where the fear begins.  I am not alone in my fear.  I have a friend whose brain works similarly to mine and we decided to brainstorm solutions.  She thought of having her husband duct tape her to her back at night.  I had come up with finding a way to duct tape my skin so it didn’t move while I slept on my side.  I was very impressed that we both thought of duct tape independently.  Clearly, these weren’t sane options so we decided to train ourselves to sleep on our backs.  It was simply terrible.  I would lay there in the middle of the night while Patrick was happily asleep on his side, reminding myself why I was doing this and how I would be thankful for it in 10 years.  An hour later, I would be in full panic mode about how tired I was going to be the next day.  An hour after that, I would give in and turn into fetal pretzel position.  This went on for about 2 weeks until both my friend and I were delirious and had to quit the effort.

While I quit my back training, I did not quit my fear and accept the inevitable.  Google is an amazing tool.  I googled “prevent chest wrinkles” and found this, the Décolleté Pad, correct and prevent chest wrinkles.  Aside from my disappointment in another invention opportunity gone to waste, I was intrigued and ordered one for about $28.  It is an ageing miracle!  I may still wake up looking like the Bride of Frankenstein with my crazy hair, but this keeps my chest wrinkle free through the night!  It sticks on and does not move.  It stays sticky for one month.  I was slightly embarrassed the first night with this, but my husband is used to my quirkiness, and is more preoccupied with finding a way to get me to agree to sleep with the windows open, so it went over pretty well.  I highly recommend this.  I buy mine on Amazon and proudly wear it, despite my mother’s horror at raising a child who spends time worrying about chest wrinkles.  I am not the only one either.  My friend is embracing a wrinkle free chest with this wonder pad as well.

chest pad

I Stole Out of an Easter Basket

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I am on videotape stealing out of my brother’s Easter basket. I was not 2 or 3 stealing out of my teenage brother’s basket; that would have been cute. I was in the 7-9 range, stealing out of my 2-3 year old brother’s Easter basket. I am honestly not sure which bothers me more; the fact that I did it, or that I did not notice a giant 1980’s video camera recording my every move. There isn’t any verbiage on the tape either. It’s like one of my parents was recording an animal in the wild doing what came naturally. I am fervently against stealing, as a side note. Whether it is physically stealing goods or stealing ideas, it is not ok. I do not know what came over me. I am an honest person; I know my flat spots and thievery isn’t among them. I blame the excitement of the goodies in the Easter basket after a mean, competitive hunt for the most eggs. Maybe I was actually just counting his eggs?

Next year the tiny one will get to participate in Easter and I cannot wait. I already talk to him about the true meaning of Easter, but for all children, the egg hunt and basket really are what make it an exciting holiday. The reverence comes later. In honor of the commercial side of Easter, here is what I would stash in my own Easter basket.

MAC lip liner in Whirl.  They are recognized for their Spice color, but I swear it is secretly an eye liner. Whirl is incredible. It is like the color of your lips after a high school make-out session. It enhances red lipstick and is the perfect base to a nude gloss.
MAC+Whirl+Lip+Pencil+Review

Nails Inc Feathers Effect Nail Polish.  It looks like an Easter egg.  This should only be worn on grown up toes or little girl fingers. The only thing creepier than an adult woman accessorized like a child is a child accessorized like an adult.
nails inc

Kai Body Butter. This smells exactly like California in Spring, and it is fantastic. January through April is by far the best part of a Southern California year and this embodies it. I like the idea of smothering my body in the scent.
kai

A Fantastic Statement Necklace, like this one from Anthropologie ($68).  These have always been my signature style. I cannot wear them with the tiny one’s curious fingers, but in a year or so, I will again. When you have a basic, flat outfit, all you need is a wow piece of jewelry to off-set the boring. Costume is usually even more baroque and fabulous than real.
necklace $68

Target Champion Sports Bras.  I need the motivation and I love the colors and fabric. They last forever.
champion-neon-sports-bras

Coffee from Koffi in Palm Springs.  I had a malted mocha latte from there recently and I DREAM about it. So, so fabulous. http://www.kofficoffee.com

Cooper, Meet Lester the Molester

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I grew up in Omaha, NE and attended college at Texas Christian University.  I thought I was street smart when I moved to NYC because I was an adult.  In Omaha, the streets were so tough that my biggest feud was with the rival high school’s show choir that won contests playing the fiddle to “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”.  We had one guy in our grade who was Creepy McHandy, but all the girls knew to never share a table in class with him, and that was that.  When I was at TCU, someone tried to break into our house and my response was to play dead.  This was my background that prepared me for NYC.  My parents were a wreck.

I worked at a racketball/personal training gym when I moved to Manhattan because I could do laundry there for free.  One of the personal trainers asked me if he could show me around the city.  I accepted.  My roommate asked me if it was a date.  I said no.  We worked together (I had watched a lot of Melrose), he was 40, and I was 22.  Clearly he would not ask someone that much younger out.  She asked me if he knew it was a not a date.  It went without saying right?  Nope.  My first clue should have been when he became annoyed when some guy talked to me while I waited in line for the bathroom.  Over dinner, he told me about his rescue cat.  I love all animals, particularly ones that have come from hard times.  He asked me if I wanted to go see his cat.  Smarty pants said yes.  We walked into his apartment and he immediately put the moves on me.  I pushed him off and asked where the cat was.  He showed me and I started to pet it.  (Seriously says older me???)  He then tried again.  I told him we worked together and this was not going to happen.  I reference this story with humor because God’s hand was on me that night in that it was only an awkward, and not dangerous, situation.  We did not socialize after that night and I had learned a big lesson.

I often think about situations I have put myself in when animals were involved.  I don’t regret them.  Today, two of my greatest joys in life are my rescue dogs.  My big guy, Cooper, and I have a soul connection.  I have never felt safer in my house, or out walking alone since Cooper joined our family.  Rescue dogs have an innate appreciation for life, and I believe they are more affectionate because of their past.  Cooper had some aggression when we got him.  He tried to bite me when he thought I was taking a treat away on our way home with him. He also stalked all visitors who came over.  We got a trainer, were consistent with him, and today he is the best dog who trusts humans.  He guarded baby T from danger when we brought him home, and goes from room to room with me all day.  He is a gentle giant who would have become a raging giant had he been with me the night I “went to see a cat”.  There are so many wonderful animals in rescue groups or humane societies waiting for you to bring them home.  Every day my day is better because of sweet Cooper and wild Ernie Bob.  If you cannot adopt, support or volunteer, if you are able.

My Favorite Trip

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I have desperately wanted to participate in a “USA” chant ever since I saw the movie “Miracle.”  The Olympics fill me with hope, gratitude, and surprisingly, aggression.  My dream came true this past summer when Pat and I attended the Olympic gymnastics trials in San Jose, CA.   I was to the point where it was no longer cute or comfortable being pregnant, but that did not matter.  I dressed in non fashion outfits and waddled close to a mile in 90 degrees plus weather to get to the venue for three days.  Pat lovingly bought me a radio with an over the ear headphone so I could both watch and listen to commentary during the meet.  Basically, I was the opposite of sexy.  On the last day, while we waited for the announcement of the United States’ Olympic gymnastics teams, an impromptu “USA” chant started in the sold out arena, and I fully participated with tears streaming down my cheeks.  It was awesome, and still unsexy.  Pat has it recorded.

What led up to this miraculous weekend for me was an amazing trip up the California coast.  When I am sleep deprived and using spit up as hair texturizer, I take a moment to recall favorite stops along the way.  Pat and I used the “Trip Doc” iphone app and leisurely stopped along the way at places we had been reading about.  If you venture this way, keep these in mind.  They are heavenly.

Doc Burnstein’s Ice Cream Lab. 

114 West Branch Street

Arroyo Grande, CA

805-474-4068

This is an old fashioned ice cream parlor with millions of choices and all the ambiance you could ask for.  It’s just a short distance south of San Luis Obispo.  The downtown area itself is a gem.

San Luis Obispo Museum of Art

1010 Broad Street

SLO, CA

805-543-8562

A tiny, bright, and clean museum on the outskirts of the downtown area.  We went there to see a Robert Burridge exhibit and recommend popping in if you are in SLO.

Novo

726 Higuera St

San Luis Obispo, CA

805-543-3986

This restaurant was tied for first place for food quality and hands down won for best atmosphere.  It is set along a creek bed with huge loping trees, and the air is filled with the songs of frogs.  It’s absolutely fantastic.  Ask and wait for a table along the creek.

novo

Petit Soleil

1473 Monterey St

San Luis Obispo, CA

805-549-0321

Petit Soleil is a charming B&B with complimentary wine tasting each evening.  It has all of the charm of a French B&B and the included breakfast was wonderful.

petit soleil

Coastal Peaks Roasters

3536 S. Higuera St, #250

San Luis Obispo, CA

805-543-0179

We had their coffee at breakfast at Petit Soleil and immediately went to purchase it before leaving town.  The locals told us when they are roasting their beans, you can smell it throughout the town.  I highly recommend it used with a French press.  You can order online as well.

Tradewinds Hotel

Carmel, CA

831-624-2776

Carmel is a place everyone should visit.  It’s extremely dog friendly, which warmed our hearts, and is cool year around.  The Tradewinds was just outside of the village area, and was just luxurious with a rustic feeling.  They serve cookies at night, which this 3rd trimester girl appreciated.

tradewinds

Casanova

Carmel, CA

831-625-0501

This tied with Novo for food for me and won with Pat.  The atmosphere is cozy and the food, delicious.  Make sure to have dessert, and drink wine even if it’s lunch.

casanova

Baby Gut

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“Come on Baby Gut, get going!” This was the inspirational phrase my Pilates teacher chose to use mid class after I had shared with her my concern over my lack of hard abs 2 months post T’s delivery.  While I was not in the least bit embarrassed, it did create an interesting desire to pull my shirt up and ask for thoughts on the supposed baby gut amongst my classmates.  Relying on a phrase from childhood, I remembered that it isn’t always about me and continued on with class.

I have no patience for yoga, other than prenatal yoga where you are encouraged to not work too hard and stretch a lot.  Pilates, however, is a life and ab saver.  I love Pilates mat classes.  Most gyms and many yoga studios offer this class and it is energetic enough to keep me occupied, and definitely challenging enough to whittle the middle.  If you have not tried Pilates before, give it a go.  It is less embarrassing than doing Zumba for the first time, and is the best thing I have found for toning.

What to wear to class?  My current favorite tees are the GapFit Motion tees, which are a total knock off of Lululemon’s cult favorite, yet overpriced tees, but with a less delicate fabric and a nicer price of $34.95.  The fit is snug, but not clingy.  It’s long enough to not have to worry about flashing while bending, and it covers the upper arm area.  I find I am more inclined to attend class when I am wearing a cute outfit.  I never claimed to be deep.

gap tee

Humor In Parenting Creates Humor in Adulthood

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This was one of the earliest games we played with our mother:

Mom:  Everyone is dying except you.  You have one pill that can save someone.  Who do you give it to? (cue non subtle gesturing to self)

Katie: I don’t know!  Ok you!

Josh: I’d eat it.  (Apparently he wanted a back-up plan for himself.)

David: I’d give everyone a piece of it. (Everyone being our family.)

Mom: Then we would all die, David.  You have to choose.

This was an early lesson on how to make a firm decision and one of the many reasons why I have an incredible mom.  Having the tiny one now, I have spent a lot of time thinking and reading about how to raise him.  The best thing about my mom was her creative humor in raising us, and I hope to have that too.  All three of us are productive, voting members of society in professions we enjoy.  We turned out normal with firm opinions on most things in life.  There is a belief that within the first few years of life, your parents positively or negatively affect your self-confidence.  Thank you, Mom and Dad.  Here are luxuries in life my mother gave us that I plan on continuing with T.

  1. Mental health ‘sick’ days from school are a necessity once in a while.  There wasn’t an intervention scheduled if we needed one of these.  She let sleeping dogs lie and gave us a day off to regroup.
  2. We lived near school.  We were given a note to go home to use our own bathroom as needed.
  3. Set limits but give freedom.  When I had the chicken pox, I was allowed to scratch only one, but I could choose which one.  God bless her for keeping her mouth shut when I chose the one square in the middle of my forehead.  It makes me smile every time I see the scar.
  4. Our neighbor had crap grandchildren.  They just didn’t get the neighborhood rules.  My mom set us up along the perimeter of their house and, on her signal, we all made monkey/witch/scary noises and watched them run screaming into the house.
  5. She set up paper along the entire side of the house, gave us paints, and let us go at it free hand.  Such freedom was an amazing feeling as a little kid.
  6. She got to know our friends.  It was annoying at the time, but now I get it.  Stalk without letting them know you’re stalking.
  7. The importance of earning, not just receiving.  I was little when the Cabbage Patch Kid phase hit.  My mom bought one and then gave me a list of chores I could do to earn it.  I thought it was quite unfair at the time, but as an adult I have a very strong work ethic, as do my brothers.
  8. She let us pursue our own interests without ever negatively judging.  Not all parents would support, emotionally and financially, a career in performance, but she did.  She drove across the state and country for auditions and contests and never once doubted me.  I never received care packages once I got to New York without a little cash slipped in for a treat.  She also included stuffed animals molded into compromising positions, but this is just my mom and it is funny.

Man luxuries

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It all started out with an innocent debate as to whether Wes was on the Real World Austin or Sydney.  Pat and I both felt strongly and decided to put a wager on our answer.  The loser had to sprint to the trash cans nude.  This isn’t as outrageous as it sounds seeing that it was 10:00 at night, our trash is 5 feet from the back door, and isn’t easily viewed from the street.  Still, the excitement was there.  I won.  Pat dragged his feet, but like any good man, owned up to being wrong and sprinted out the door.  I immediately slammed and locked it.  I then started yelling, “Who’s out there?” and our dogs went nuts.  Our neighbor’s lights came on and Pat used words that were 100% appropriate for the situation.  I let him back in and he said that just like game night, I had ruined any future betting opportunities.  (I might or might not have thrown a Scrabble board after losing.)

Today’s post is dedicated to little luxuries for your man.  I had some making up to do.  It was totally worth it, by the way.  The items below are tested tried and true by some of the most important men in my life.

Lululemon game on boxer briefs, $24.  The men said they were too expensive to buy themselves, which makes them perfect for gift giving.  The fit is great and the colors are vibrant.  The packaging is nice as well, no pun intended.

lulu boxer

Kikkerland pens, $6 for 5.  These were inspired by Mad Men and brought my brother back to his days of sitting at my dad’s desk.  The fit is comfortable and has a clean print.  I have never understood a preferred pen, but both my brother and my husband have preferences for their work.  It is a man thing.  http://www.kikkerland.com/products/retro-pens-set-of-5/

pens

American Apparel V-neck tees, $21-28 for short sleeve.  “You know how new sweatshirts are really soft until you wash them?  I like these tees because they stay soft, like a brand new sweatshirt.”  When men comment on a fabrication, you know it’s good.  This fit model looks like a jailed junkie.  They look better on real men.

tee

Bugatchi socks, $19.75.  When we were in France, the only thing my husband bought for himself were French socks.  Printed socks are popular with men and give you a glimpse into their personality.  I love finding an unexpected print peeking out of a serious suit.  Bugatchi has fantastic prints and they last a very long time.  Where to buy them?  Of course….Nordstrom.  Zappos also carries them.

bugatchi

Dunkin Donuts coffee, roughly $10 for 12 oz.  I had no idea there was a cult following to this coffee.  A good friend of ours was harassed in the store for refusing to say ‘dunkaccino’, but still goes back for the coffee.  I have heard from several men that this is the BEST coffee.  Apparently a Southern California store arrival is causing serious excitement.  While you are at it, pick up the disposable coffee cups from the grocery store too.  Their convenience is appreciated by your man.

Kiehl’s Products.  Kiehl’s has clean, neutral packaging, appealing to men.  They are no-nonsense and straight forward in their promises and goals.  From their men’s line, my husband likes their facial fuel.  They also have the best non-scented lip balm.  Bloomingdale’s has a good in-store shop.  I find that their associates are honest about the products too.

kiehl-s-lip-balm-#1

Pearls of Wisdom, Sort of?

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I like to think that I carry myself well, but at times it is a fail.  I have left many an evening where Patrick informed me that my stories were highly inappropriate.  In those moments, I like to think that I have the panache to pull them off, but I usually cringe, pray, and send a vague text the next day to feel out the situation.  Over the years I have observed many women, usually Southern, who remain aloofly cool and wish that I was that way.  I just am not.  Before I attend a ladylike event, I give myself mental pointers.  Some of them include:

  • Remember that being a listener is as important as being a talker.  Everyone gets a turn.
  • Do not tell a story that would embarrass your husband.
  • Stand up straight.
  • Do not drop an F bomb.

I generally at least achieve the not dropping the F bomb point.  Yay!  I bring this up because some of my favorite ladylike accessories are pearls.   I do not endorse them at all with a cardigan twin set, but worn extra casually, they can be fun.  Opposites in dressing are so interesting.  If worn with a twin set, they are expected, but if you wear them with distressed boyfriend jeans, they are absolutely fascinating to me.  I might wonder, “What was she doing to pair these with this outfit?  Was she at the opera and couldn’t be bothered to remove them?”  or “I want to be friends with her.”  Opposites that are so blaringly obvious are fresh.  Why not wear a strand of pearls to run errands?  Things of beauty should not be used only for special occasions.  Pearls are a gemstone that have a very wide price range and timeless.  They are a wonderful gift for a new love or for a relative.  My favorite necklace is made of fresh water, pale pink pearls.   They are not perfectly round, which of course is more interesting to me.  I braid it with another strand of perfect pearls that were my great aunt’s, and gold, raisin-like freshwater pearls, and it keeps me entertained for hours.  The imperfections are the best part.

Today’s Denim, a Fit Experiment

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 Katie: I’m sorry.  I know this is serious.  I am listening to you, but I just need a moment to process the fact that I need to gain weight.  That is the nicest thing anyone has ever told me.

What I had just heard from my ivf doctor was, “You need to gain weight in order to maximize your chances  for a successful ivf transfer.  Blah blah blah blag too skinny.  Blah blah blah blah need more meat on your stomach.”  It might have been the greatest moment of my life.  Should I send a group text or let people know one by one that for the first time in my ENTIRE life, someone thought I needed to gain weight?  I am not too skinny.  I am normal by all accounts and regularly feel that I need to lose 5 pounds, but for one moment in life, I was too skinny.

The next month I split my beloved Joe’s jeans which leads us to today.  I could not rationalize spending  $150 on jeans that were a size bigger than normal and might not even fit afterwards if ivf worked and I became pregnant.  What to do?  Head to the Gap.  Premium denim was a rare thing 10 years ago, but now every mass marketer has it.  Status denim forced the change of denim the specialty stores offered and brought me back to a store that I had not stepped foot in for probably 10 years.

We all have our favorites, and different vendors all have different fits, but there is no longer a need to spend a huge fortune on denim, if you do not want to.  I was pleasantly surprised by what the Gap offered, and today I will also show you what Banana Republic, J Crew, Gap, and Urban Outfitters offer for a more reasonable price.  My darling model is my sister-in-law, Anna Goeschel.  She is athletic in build and tall.

Banana Republic. Our basic call out was that we would have preferred to have the pockets closer together.  If you want your tush to look smaller, look for pockets that are slightly angled and close together.  Banana offers a nice wear-to-work option in denim.  All denim styles shown were $79.50 and 89% Cotton, 8% Polyester, and 2% Spandex.

Sizing: runs more generous than premium denim lines.  Anna went down 2 sizes from what she wears in other denim.

Boot:

BR BOOT BR BOOT BK

Curvy:

BR CURVY BOOT BACK BR CURVY BOOT

Skinny:

BR SKINNY BR SKINNY BK

Gap: Gap usually fits me very well and they had the widest variety of styles.  Anna was pleasantly surprised by how well she liked some of the fits.  Gap is the most economically priced as well.  All styles were under $70.  I felt the back pockets, washes, and details were more updated than what Banana Republic offered, but not as wear to work friendly.

Sizing: Runs a little more generous than premium denim lines.  Anna went down 1 size.

Always Skinny: $69.95.  98% Cotton, 2% Spandex

GAP ALWAYS SKINNY GAP ALWAYS SKINNY BACK

Curvy: $69.95. 98% Cotton, 2% Elastane

GAP CURVY GAP CURVY BK

Perfect Boot: $69.50.  79% Cotton, 20% Polyester, 1% Spandex

GAP PERFECT BOOT GAP PERFECT BOOT BK

Real Straight: $69.50. 79% Cotton, 20% Polyester, 1% Spandex

GAP REAL STRAIGHT GAP REAL STRAIGHT BK

J Crew has the priciest denim, but had Anna’s favorite fit.  For me, it runs a little long.  I feel it’s best for a taller customer, but they do offer petites.  They only have skinny denim right now, but the shape of both offerings is right on trend.  The washes were a nice, flattering dark wash, but were light enough to look more current than the curvy wash at Gap and all of Banana Republic’s washes.  All denim is $125 and 93% Cotton, 6% Polyester, and 1% Spandex.

The sizing runs smaller than both Gap and Banana Republic.  Anna wore her regular size in comparison with premium denim lines.

Matchstick:

J CREW MATCH J CREW MATCH BK

Toothpick:

J CREW TOOTHPICK J CREW TOOTHPICK BK

Urban Outfitters offers their private label brand, BDG, at a very economical price.  The average is $58, but they often run pricing specials.  Colored denim continues to be huge, and a blue wash is a safe way to venture into the trend.

Sizing runs similar to premium denim lines.

URBAN URBAN BK