What I Learned From Elementary School Videos

Preface:  I am not exaggerating any of the below to make a story better.  These are my honest recollections.  They are, however, 25 years old, so they may no longer be accurate.  I did believe, for a long time, that my dad bought our house with change he had saved.  Keep that in mind….

I remember starting around 4th grade we would watch videos teaching us about our bodies or other non-scholastic topics that children eventually should know.  I had known about the birds and the bees for a very long time because my mother had bought a book and read it to me.  I asked for it to be read more than once, and followed up with inappropriate questions.  Thus, I felt very knowledgeable about these things.   The revelation that Santa Claus was not real had knocked the wind out of me in 3rd grade, but reproduction was something about which I had the facts.  At some point another topic was about things that should alarm a child; things that are and are not normal for adults to do.  For example, it is not normal for a stranger in a van to ask you to help him with a puppy.  I was briefly concerned that I was abused because my mother felt naps were most effective if you didn’t wear pants while taking them.  This was just good sense, but at the time, I mulled it over. Another thing we eventually learned about was birth control.  I was very fascinated by what I think was called “Today’s Sponge”.  To this day, I have never seen one, but I imagined it.  If the Internet had been around, I would have furtively googled it while my parents were in another room.  I do not know why it was so fascinating, but it was.  It was the type of thing I imagined glamorous women talking about over a martini lunch.  I am quite certain I was wrong about that.

I was given “Today’s Sponge” in my stocking this year.  At least, it looks exactly like the one I imagined way back when.  Drum roll for dramatic pause……this one is for your face.  It is awesome.  It is a cleansing sponge by Boscia and I have never had so much fun washing my face.  What I particularly love about it is that you can use it on your eyes to get make up off.  I have a strong aversion to using make up remover and I destroy towels rubbing mascara off after washing my face.  This gets rid of my mascara and is so much fun to use.  It starts off hard when it is dry and softens to a perfect texture for washing.  I would also recommend it for toddlers to play with because the texture is very, very addictive.  I like to believe that it increases the circulation, and thus the coloring, to my sleep deprived skin, but that may be false advertising.  I am happy to have something that makes a boring chore enjoyable.  You can buy this at Sephora for $18.

Isn’t it nice to know that things you learned years ago can still play an active role in your adult life?  Giggle.

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