Can I Conceal This Morning??

This has been my last 12 hours: I couldn’t sleep very well and when I did, I was negotiating visual space in a store to remerchandise their floor.  If you have worked with me, I know you have had this dream.  Teeny woke up at 4:45 a.m. and after feeding him, I walked into a wall.  It has been a while since I have done that.  I couldn’t sleep after that so I got up to make coffee and could not, for the life of me, figure out why I was only pouring water after I had clearly been signaled that the coffee was done.  It turns out, if you do not pour the water from the carafe into the machine, coffee doesn’t happen.  I redid my effort and then put Splenda into my coffee.  With cream in hand, I was confused as to how the top of the Splenda container got on top of my coffee cup.  Yup, it’s that kind of morning.  Teeny is sleeping and I am still awake.  Needless to say, I have circles under my eyes that are terrifying and I should not drive a car today.

When I was little my mom used to tell me how she hated dark circles under her eyes.  I remember being very afraid of this condition, as if it were a disease.  I am so happy that it is not a disease, or painful, because I too suffer from it.  I have found a miracle concealer that I get very excited to use, and even better, it’s a total bargain.  I have tried so many concealers; Lancome, MAC, YSL, Kat Von D (huge fail), and none of them work as well as….Cover Girl.  Yep.  Cover Girl Concealer Balm, with Olay.  It comes in a lipstick shape and goes on incredibly smooth and creamy, but not oily.  My dark circles magically disappear for at least 6 hours.  Now, with the way my day has been going so far, I am hoping I do not confuse this magic balm with real lipstick under my eyes.  Wouldn’t that be pretty?

cover girl concealer

Fetal Pretzel

I am afraid of chest wrinkles.  (Cue an eye roll from my mother and a fervent desire for the ability to quit reading her progeny’s inane ramblings.  She can’t, as a side note.)  I tried to think of another word instead of afraid, but none hit the mark.  I am afraid of them because there is nothing you can do about it.  As far as I know, fillers don’t go there and there is not a chest lift available.  All you can do is wear high necklines and sweat during the summer.   The only thing worse for your chest than worshipping the sun sans sunscreen is side sleeping.  I sleep on my side in what is best described as a fetal pretzel position and this is where the fear begins.  I am not alone in my fear.  I have a friend whose brain works similarly to mine and we decided to brainstorm solutions.  She thought of having her husband duct tape her to her back at night.  I had come up with finding a way to duct tape my skin so it didn’t move while I slept on my side.  I was very impressed that we both thought of duct tape independently.  Clearly, these weren’t sane options so we decided to train ourselves to sleep on our backs.  It was simply terrible.  I would lay there in the middle of the night while Patrick was happily asleep on his side, reminding myself why I was doing this and how I would be thankful for it in 10 years.  An hour later, I would be in full panic mode about how tired I was going to be the next day.  An hour after that, I would give in and turn into fetal pretzel position.  This went on for about 2 weeks until both my friend and I were delirious and had to quit the effort.

While I quit my back training, I did not quit my fear and accept the inevitable.  Google is an amazing tool.  I googled “prevent chest wrinkles” and found this, the Décolleté Pad, correct and prevent chest wrinkles.  Aside from my disappointment in another invention opportunity gone to waste, I was intrigued and ordered one for about $28.  It is an ageing miracle!  I may still wake up looking like the Bride of Frankenstein with my crazy hair, but this keeps my chest wrinkle free through the night!  It sticks on and does not move.  It stays sticky for one month.  I was slightly embarrassed the first night with this, but my husband is used to my quirkiness, and is more preoccupied with finding a way to get me to agree to sleep with the windows open, so it went over pretty well.  I highly recommend this.  I buy mine on Amazon and proudly wear it, despite my mother’s horror at raising a child who spends time worrying about chest wrinkles.  I am not the only one either.  My friend is embracing a wrinkle free chest with this wonder pad as well.

chest pad

I Stole Out of an Easter Basket

I am on videotape stealing out of my brother’s Easter basket. I was not 2 or 3 stealing out of my teenage brother’s basket; that would have been cute. I was in the 7-9 range, stealing out of my 2-3 year old brother’s Easter basket. I am honestly not sure which bothers me more; the fact that I did it, or that I did not notice a giant 1980’s video camera recording my every move. There isn’t any verbiage on the tape either. It’s like one of my parents was recording an animal in the wild doing what came naturally. I am fervently against stealing, as a side note. Whether it is physically stealing goods or stealing ideas, it is not ok. I do not know what came over me. I am an honest person; I know my flat spots and thievery isn’t among them. I blame the excitement of the goodies in the Easter basket after a mean, competitive hunt for the most eggs. Maybe I was actually just counting his eggs?

Next year the tiny one will get to participate in Easter and I cannot wait. I already talk to him about the true meaning of Easter, but for all children, the egg hunt and basket really are what make it an exciting holiday. The reverence comes later. In honor of the commercial side of Easter, here is what I would stash in my own Easter basket.

MAC lip liner in Whirl.  They are recognized for their Spice color, but I swear it is secretly an eye liner. Whirl is incredible. It is like the color of your lips after a high school make-out session. It enhances red lipstick and is the perfect base to a nude gloss.

Nails Inc Feathers Effect Nail Polish.  It looks like an Easter egg.  This should only be worn on grown up toes or little girl fingers. The only thing creepier than an adult woman accessorized like a child is a child accessorized like an adult.
nails inc

Kai Body Butter. This smells exactly like California in Spring, and it is fantastic. January through April is by far the best part of a Southern California year and this embodies it. I like the idea of smothering my body in the scent.

A Fantastic Statement Necklace, like this one from Anthropologie ($68).  These have always been my signature style. I cannot wear them with the tiny one’s curious fingers, but in a year or so, I will again. When you have a basic, flat outfit, all you need is a wow piece of jewelry to off-set the boring. Costume is usually even more baroque and fabulous than real.
necklace $68

Target Champion Sports Bras.  I need the motivation and I love the colors and fabric. They last forever.

Coffee from Koffi in Palm Springs.  I had a malted mocha latte from there recently and I DREAM about it. So, so fabulous.

It’s a Scary, Hairy Mess. This Helps.

beach spray

My post pregnancy hair loss has started and it is startling.  Yeah, yeah, yeah it supposedly grows back, but there is a possibility that it will not.  Like all other curve balls, I just have to deal with it.  The positive side to this is that I have a fabulous Halloween costume.  I will let my hair air dry, wear nothing but a cape and heels, and go as the scary guy from “Silence of the Lambs.”  My neighbor told me that she saves all of her dog’s hair that she sheds and is planning on having it made into a quilt. I struggled for an adequate response on that one, but now it has me thinking.   Perhaps T would appreciate my hair shed from his birth woven into a small hot pad?  This would be a nice wedding gift for the “something old” portion of the program?

I have settled into a high-low balance on my hair care over the years.  I spend on color, conditioner, and products that really tame the natural frizz, and go low on shampoo (or get it during sales), styling tools and products that I don’t need for my daily look.  One thing I have always wanted was the Bumble and Bumble Salt Spray, but I could not justify buying it.  They promised beachy waves and I wanted them!  I recently found L’Oreal’s Ever Style Beach Spray for $6.99 at my drugstore and decided I would give it a try at that price.  I like it!  You are supposed to go easy on hair when it is in this shedding phase, and there are days when T wakes up early from his nap and straightening is not an option anyhow.  I still need an anti-frizz serum with this, but the waves are great AND it makes my hair look a ton fuller.  I also love the texture it creates because it makes it really great for an updo the next day.  This is a great product to have on hand if you are a curly girl.

Glitz and Glamour

Staying home with T meant going from 2 incomes to 1.  We refer to that talk as our “come to Jesus” meeting.  In heartfelt conversation, Patrick told me I was going to have to drop my Sephora habit.  There is no lip gloss that excites me as much as my child, so this was no problem.  I took stopping impulse purchases as a sort of personal challenge.  Recently, I did need a new eye liner and I have been reading about the fabulousness of liquid liners.  I fail with liquid liners.  It is as awkward a moment for me as the time I told the owner of my company that I had an addiction to zappos and then spent the next few hours worrying that she took that statement at face value instead of the humor I had intended.  I digress….I found this amazing liquid liner that I can do really easily for $5.50.  It’s “Glam Liner Aqua Luxe” by NYX, and it’s brown with gold flecks.  The tip is really thin, so it seems error-proof to me, and it lasts all day without smudging.  I like to use brown pencil liner from underneath my lashes and then use this above my lashes for a stand out eye.  The sparkle in it is girly enough without too much in an “am I too old for this” kind of way.  I am so excited with this fabulous bargain.  It is a fraction of any other eye liner I have ever had and it is the BEST!  I got it at Ulta, but they also have a website,

nyx glam liner