friendship

The Best Pant/Leggings to Look Like Sandy “at the end”

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I have mentioned this before, but I saw Grease for the first time with my best and first friend, Kristen, when we were little. Before she started the movie she had raved about SO much that I had become desperate to see it, she qualified it with, “but I get to be Sandy at the end.” I would have agreed to sell my organs in order to see the movie at that point. Afterwards, I realized I had been swindled because Sandy at the end was SO MUCH COOLER. Thanks, best friend, for offering to share….

I am somewhat of an adult now. I raise children. I am pretty lazy with my appearance most days and leggings are a staple because they are both comfortable and remind me of my fitness goals. Win! I have felt confident in this choice (because I mostly don’t have important places to be and just don’t care) until I read an article by “whowhatwear.com” titled “French Girls Laugh Every Time Americans Wear These 3 Things”. Leggings were on there. Apparently we should just wear pants or jeans. I felt completely indignant! Who were these French girls stating that they would just never wear leggings around town? What made them qualified to shoot down my pant of choice with a Parisian sniff?    (The real question is why would I care?) Since it keeps doing a lap in my brain, I decided to prove them wrong. I would find the perfect pant/legging.

I did it. I found the perfect pant/legging. It’s the Stellar tight from Athleta. It feels like a legging (and it is) but it looks a bit like a Moto pant. The fabric is thick (and Italian, so doesn’t that make it more le chic?) and the zip pockets make it look cool and tough, like an up and coming neighborhood.

 

I have been trying on black pants for a while now and this is exactly what I wanted. In theory, I could exercise in it, but why? It’s so fabulous I just want to save it for when I need to look pulled together without doing my hair. The slit ankle adds to the illusion of a trouser and I adore the high waist. It is easily a professional pant with a jacket or a date night pant with a slinky blouse. I had my husband photograph it right away with my crazy hair and a band-aid on my shoulder from my doctor’s visit. I needed to share it with you that much!

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While I photographed it simply to just show the pant, you have to admit, there is an element of Sandy “at the end” of Grease, isn’t there? Maybe that’s why I had to have the pant. I have been waiting for my turn for 30 years.

P.S. There isn’t anything more American than “Grease” the movie, and I am all for it!

shoes by Marc Fisher, Yente Chelsea boot

black tank by Karen Kane

Photography by my greatest love, “You’re the one that I want. Hoo hoo hoo.”

I NEED YOU

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My husband has a small, close circle of friends who are dear to him. My husband is not an easy read and his fierce love of those who make it past his prickly exterior are in for life. I find male relationships fascinating; there is not talk of feelings, dissection of what conversations might mean, or endless discussions on how to ensure you do not raise serial killers, YET the relationships are rooted deep into the earth even without many words.

My husband has 2 friends from kindergarten who are his dearest friends 35 years later. They have their own language. It is loud, bawdy and complete gibberish but you cannot help but to smile when you hear the three of them together in “Nina”speak. These 3 friends are rarely in the same city together, but the bond of friendship is always there. Bits of business are intertwined. Somehow, anniversary vacations and honeymoon destinations overlap. One friend’s wife planned a romantic anniversary vacation near where we live. Her husband said to her, “Thank you for bringing me to see my best friend.” She was so tickled by the friendship, she did not bring up the fact that it was supposed to be THEIR time together. My husband tagged along the entire time of the trip, in the back seat of the rented convertible, both friends as happy as can be.

One component of the friendship has been the love of one another’s mother. All three mothers are vastly different, but each one brought something special into each boy’s heart. All three men grew up to love strong women, and to value that relationship above everything else. I am certain few who knew this band of miscreants in school would have expected or believed this to be a truth, but I believe their love of their mothers and who they were/are, led them to the family men they are today. As time marches on, losses start to become reality for these friends, and the beauty of the friendship shines brighter as the circle becomes tighter.

 

Airbrush Tanning Etiquette

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C and I were given air brush tans from a friend of hers.  Because we lack impulse control, we had to use them NOW NOW NOW.  We jumped in her car and drove, gabbing the entire way about a whole lot of nothing.  True to form, we acted without thinking.  About 2 minutes before we got there, C asked me what the etiquette was for airbrush tanning.  I was the expert because I had done it once before.  I didn’t really know and we went into panic mode.  We had been in the situation before back in our NYC days when we were invited to a party in Connecticut.  We had assumed we would stay up there for the night and brought our overnight bags.  When we were on our way there, we realized we hadn’t had a formal invitation and, again, panicked.  Our bags were clearly overnighters so no faking a big hand bag.  Should we leave the bags on the train?  Should we say they were for just in case we spilled something on our outfit?  Should we get a hotel room (we were poor).  Help!  This time, we did not know what to do when someone is spraying you.  Do you wear undergarments?  Do you engage in conversation?  Do you point out your flabby spots and ask for an opinion?  What do you do??  We ended up with beautiful spray tans.  In case you too have questions, now that bikini season is almost upon us, I called Sunset Tan to ask them about proper etiquette.  They are the experts.  After all, they had a TV show….

Q: What do you wear while airbrush tanning?

A: The client chooses.   The person spraying you is used to both nudity and undergarments.  The most common is nudity so you avoid tan lines, but it is your choice.  (Interestingly, only women can go nude.  They require men to wear something.)  They do provide disposable garments for both men and women, if needed.  (Side note, not all places provide paper undies, so ask ahead of time!)

Q: What is the proper tipping amount?

A: The most common is $5.  Some people do 15-20%, however.  (My thoughts: do not skip tipping a person who comes into close contact with your thighs and is still cheerful.)

Q: How do you make it last, since it is not a cheap endeavor?

A: Skip hot showers.  Take quick, lukewarm showers.  Also, do not exfoliate.

Q: Any other tips to share?

A: Come in with freshly exfoliated skin, but do not have anything on your skin, including deodorant.  Skip wearing a bra home if you can, and do not wear anything tight.  (She mentioned that when clients wear tight jeans, they often will have a tanned seam line once it sets.  Yikes!)  Also, wait 8 hours before showering.

My Friendship with C

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Somewhere on the Upper East Side….
C: I need you to come over and alibi me while I pack.
Katie: Sure. I’ll be right there.
(5 minutes later I’m there.)
C: I’m throwing out these scissors and I need you to watch me do it in case they’re later used in a murder and have my finger prints on them.
Katie: I get it.

This is an example of why C is my beloved friend. She is really more of a sister than a friend. Our minds understand each other and I would not be who I am today without her. We became adults together and made each other better people. Before nights out together, I would coach her on how to make small talk in the bars. I would look over an hour later and she would be trying to get some guy to talk to her about religion or politics while I was quoting boy band lines. Over the years, she lightened up while I deepened up. We have shared a bedroom on 2 occasions. The second time, after our other roommate moved out, we still kept the bedroom empty, preferring to be together to talk late into the night. We knew it was going to end and wanted to drag out the inevitable. We had a balcony off the room and would sit for hours, drinking wine, and talking. Half the time it was in gibberish, since we could finish each other’s thoughts, or reference our past stories with only a word or two.
C, her husband, and her darling daughter moved across the country and the loss was profound for me. I usually did not need other friends when I was able to have her. While we are 15 years older and have changed in multitudes of ways, we are still together. She is one of the greatest luxuries in my life. I have been thinking about her a lot because she just got her court date in Africa to go and petition to bring a little boy, who has become her child, home to America. She has already flown to Uganda on her own to visit him in his orphanage, and has been on a quest to get him permanently into her arms. I have no doubt she will be able to conquer this. C has never been one to take no for an answer and I fear for the entire country if they try. I cannot wait to visit and play wild games of hide and seek with him. I will be Auntie Kat who teaches him the slightly inappropriate songs and phrases, because that has always been my role in our ever evolving friendship. Go get him girl!