Family

I Stole Out of an Easter Basket

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I am on videotape stealing out of my brother’s Easter basket. I was not 2 or 3 stealing out of my teenage brother’s basket; that would have been cute. I was in the 7-9 range, stealing out of my 2-3 year old brother’s Easter basket. I am honestly not sure which bothers me more; the fact that I did it, or that I did not notice a giant 1980’s video camera recording my every move. There isn’t any verbiage on the tape either. It’s like one of my parents was recording an animal in the wild doing what came naturally. I am fervently against stealing, as a side note. Whether it is physically stealing goods or stealing ideas, it is not ok. I do not know what came over me. I am an honest person; I know my flat spots and thievery isn’t among them. I blame the excitement of the goodies in the Easter basket after a mean, competitive hunt for the most eggs. Maybe I was actually just counting his eggs?

Next year the tiny one will get to participate in Easter and I cannot wait. I already talk to him about the true meaning of Easter, but for all children, the egg hunt and basket really are what make it an exciting holiday. The reverence comes later. In honor of the commercial side of Easter, here is what I would stash in my own Easter basket.

MAC lip liner in Whirl.  They are recognized for their Spice color, but I swear it is secretly an eye liner. Whirl is incredible. It is like the color of your lips after a high school make-out session. It enhances red lipstick and is the perfect base to a nude gloss.
MAC+Whirl+Lip+Pencil+Review

Nails Inc Feathers Effect Nail Polish.  It looks like an Easter egg.  This should only be worn on grown up toes or little girl fingers. The only thing creepier than an adult woman accessorized like a child is a child accessorized like an adult.
nails inc

Kai Body Butter. This smells exactly like California in Spring, and it is fantastic. January through April is by far the best part of a Southern California year and this embodies it. I like the idea of smothering my body in the scent.
kai

A Fantastic Statement Necklace, like this one from Anthropologie ($68).  These have always been my signature style. I cannot wear them with the tiny one’s curious fingers, but in a year or so, I will again. When you have a basic, flat outfit, all you need is a wow piece of jewelry to off-set the boring. Costume is usually even more baroque and fabulous than real.
necklace $68

Target Champion Sports Bras.  I need the motivation and I love the colors and fabric. They last forever.
champion-neon-sports-bras

Coffee from Koffi in Palm Springs.  I had a malted mocha latte from there recently and I DREAM about it. So, so fabulous. http://www.kofficoffee.com

Humor In Parenting Creates Humor in Adulthood

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This was one of the earliest games we played with our mother:

Mom:  Everyone is dying except you.  You have one pill that can save someone.  Who do you give it to? (cue non subtle gesturing to self)

Katie: I don’t know!  Ok you!

Josh: I’d eat it.  (Apparently he wanted a back-up plan for himself.)

David: I’d give everyone a piece of it. (Everyone being our family.)

Mom: Then we would all die, David.  You have to choose.

This was an early lesson on how to make a firm decision and one of the many reasons why I have an incredible mom.  Having the tiny one now, I have spent a lot of time thinking and reading about how to raise him.  The best thing about my mom was her creative humor in raising us, and I hope to have that too.  All three of us are productive, voting members of society in professions we enjoy.  We turned out normal with firm opinions on most things in life.  There is a belief that within the first few years of life, your parents positively or negatively affect your self-confidence.  Thank you, Mom and Dad.  Here are luxuries in life my mother gave us that I plan on continuing with T.

  1. Mental health ‘sick’ days from school are a necessity once in a while.  There wasn’t an intervention scheduled if we needed one of these.  She let sleeping dogs lie and gave us a day off to regroup.
  2. We lived near school.  We were given a note to go home to use our own bathroom as needed.
  3. Set limits but give freedom.  When I had the chicken pox, I was allowed to scratch only one, but I could choose which one.  God bless her for keeping her mouth shut when I chose the one square in the middle of my forehead.  It makes me smile every time I see the scar.
  4. Our neighbor had crap grandchildren.  They just didn’t get the neighborhood rules.  My mom set us up along the perimeter of their house and, on her signal, we all made monkey/witch/scary noises and watched them run screaming into the house.
  5. She set up paper along the entire side of the house, gave us paints, and let us go at it free hand.  Such freedom was an amazing feeling as a little kid.
  6. She got to know our friends.  It was annoying at the time, but now I get it.  Stalk without letting them know you’re stalking.
  7. The importance of earning, not just receiving.  I was little when the Cabbage Patch Kid phase hit.  My mom bought one and then gave me a list of chores I could do to earn it.  I thought it was quite unfair at the time, but as an adult I have a very strong work ethic, as do my brothers.
  8. She let us pursue our own interests without ever negatively judging.  Not all parents would support, emotionally and financially, a career in performance, but she did.  She drove across the state and country for auditions and contests and never once doubted me.  I never received care packages once I got to New York without a little cash slipped in for a treat.  She also included stuffed animals molded into compromising positions, but this is just my mom and it is funny.

Quit Diagnosing Your Friends

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My father is a physician.  For some reason, I believe that this is a genetic trait I have been given instead of a very learned profession for which I have no qualifications or education.  When I left for college, he sent with me the medications that I needed along with some antibiotics, in case I got sick.  I started diagnosing my friends’ illnesses and handing out my meds.  When I called him for more, he told me that under no circumstances was I allowed to continue this behavior.  I no longer have a stash to pass out (aside from an Ambien or two that I received from my own doctor in California), but I still diagnose my patients.  One of my favorite humans alive and I have spent much time on the internet together discovering the source of an illness or pain.  She will also call me with a diagnosis and I will say things like, “Well did you ask about this medication?  That’s what I would recommend.”  I seem to know about medications.  Perhaps from magazine advertisements?  I was really stumped one time and decided to call my colleague to ponder (i.e. my dad) and there was a long silence.  I assumed this was because he was thinking about the possibilities, but he squared me away pretty quickly about my inappropriateness.

Medications aside, there are so many supplements that truly do enhance your health.  I have a wretched stomach and have been put on so many medications over my life that never helped.  These actually CHANGED the way I live.  So, from Dr. Katie to you, here are supplements that I am never without.

Probiotics: You want live cultures and yogurt does not count.  I have not taken antibiotics in over three years with this program.  If you take antibiotics, you want to FOR SURE take these as they will replace the good bacteria in your digestive tract that the antibiotics kill.  If you have a bum stomach, “The Gut Flush Plan” is a great book, but super embarrassing to carry through the book store, as Patrick told me.  One night after T was born I was afraid I was getting a stomach bug that I would pass along to him.  I took 5 of these and then 5 more a couple hours later and it completely went away.  These might be the best thing I have discovered in my 30’s.

Digestive Enzymes: As you age, you have less and less of these naturally and Dr. Oz taught me that 70% of your immune system is in your gut.  I had been on these for 3 years already.   A healthy immune system keeps you looking better too.

Purified Fish Oil: It’s a wonder supplement.  It does everything from protecting your mind in ageing to keeping your skin pretty.  You want it purified so you do not ingest mercury.

Biotin: Aids in healthy hair and nails.

Pycnogenol: I just learned about this.  It is apparently the next big thing in wrinkle prevention.  It plumps your skin cells back up which decreases wrinkles.  It takes a while to work, but I started it.   I will keep you posted.

Excedrin over Tylenol:  There really is no comparison in which one gets rid of your headache faster. Excedrin does contain caffeine, so be aware of that.  It wires my best friend like a puppy with free reign in a new house.