There are two things to note going into this post. 1. I love Ryan Seacrest. I think he’s hilarious and I want to be friends with him. I know that he played a game show host in season 10 of Beverly Hills 90210. Bam. 2. I am short and curvy. Both attributes I actually like, but they pose limitations on my fashion. There is a reason why short and curvy is never in a fashion show. It is not because it isn’t pretty or that it is lesser than, but because you are playing the odds with short and curvy. You cannot guarantee short and curvy will look good in the outfits chosen when she shows up for her wardrobe fitting an hour before 250 plus people arrive for a big show. Tall and skinny can wear anything. Short and curvy cannot. Fact, not judgement.
Shoes make you like how you look or not for the day. They are the finishing touch to an outfit. I passionately love shoes. I cannot wear a lot of the flat and trendy winter shoes. I just look awkward in an 8th grade, going through puberty kind of way in flat oxfords, as cute as they are. I injured my knee running years ago and the doctor told me I couldn’t wear heels while it healed. This would have been fine in summer, but it happened to be winter. I bought some horrid black things that I rationalized would be fine as long as I wore really long pants. (Pants should be hemmed to 1 inch above the ground max anyhow) I ended up sitting across the aisle from Ryan Seacrest on my flight home one day wearing the shoes. Those damn shoes had made me feel so ugly all day long that I could not initiate any stalker conversation with him. I was SURE he would stare at my feet and then we never would be friends. (The depth of my personality is impressive at times and rivals the 8th grade comparison from above.) I am still waiting to run into him again. I can see Seth Green at various airports but not Ryan?? Those shoes are gone. Lesson learned.
What always works? Boots. Ankle boots with a heel, or tall boots with or without a heel. The more beat up boots get, the ‘edgier’ you look. Cowboy boots with a dress? Adorable. Ankle boots with skinny jeans? Trendy. Slouchy boots? Hello skinnier than yesterday legs. Tall boots with anything are timeless. My favorites are Frye. You get a two for one deal. They are so heavy that your thighs actually get a work out, but are oh so fabulously comfy. You will have them forever and your future daughter will want them. My second favorites are ankle boots from DSW that everyone should own. They are the Andy Bootie by Coconuts and DSW has them now for $39.94. I totally would have talked to Ryan Seacrest if I had had them on. I can wheel my favorite boy, sweet T, around in them too.
This was hilarious. Keep ”em coming.
So agree with Leanne!